Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!


If you can read this message, please contact us immediately at the following email address:

We'd like to communicate.


It's 2021 and Facebook is banned: Here's how you'll survive

It's 2021 and Facebook is banned: Here's how you'll survive

SATIRE by Ben Pobjie

Updated Sat at 5:52am

The year is 2021. The world is a very different place. The #deleteFacebook campaign of 2018 changed the way humanity communicates, the way people relate to each other, the very way we think about life itself.

As the groundswell of public opinion grew into an irresistible wave, governments around the world had no choice but to respond.

It was determined the Cambridge Analytica scandal was an unforgivable breach of privacy and a savage blow against freedom itself, despite nobody being able to explain what had actually happened.

Authorities moved swiftly to ban Facebook and exile Mark Zuckerberg to the Kamchatka Peninsula, where he now works as a crab farmer. Finally, the world's data, and the privacy of millions, was safe.

But since the abolition of Facebook, we have faced a few problems, to which we have had to find increasingly creative solutions.

Life outside the newsfeed

In the early days, there was a sense of disorientation, as we struggled to figure out how to navigate the world without the assistance of a global social network.

Many families drifted apart, parents losing touch with children, siblings losing touch with siblings, uncles losing touch with nieces and old school friends losing touch with people they hadn't seen in 30 years but had just last week sent an emoji to.

read more:

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."

Sign In or Register to comment.